Watch me leave
by ThePanorama
Summary: Tifa has had enough and decides to leave her home, however no one was prepared for the consequences of her absence.
1. Chapter 1

When you are in a self-righteously angry mood, you want to do something with the emotions. I am writing another angst story. It will not be as eloquent and descriptive as one hopes to write during fanfiction, but more like an outpouring of emotions and a new perspective?

I do not own FF7 or SE. 

I love stories when she LEAVES.

This takes place shortly after DOC when she finally has a breakdown

First chapter

Sometimes I look back to my past and wonder how my childhood me would react if she could see me NOW. Back then, I had my act together. Yes some people may have called me a stuck up, popular and a headstrong type of girl but having the confidence of being one is something that I miss. Back then I never chased, never felt unnecessarily guilty and obligated to help everyone and every single freaking thing around me.

I can imagine young-me's disgust at my desperate wish to win the hearts of the people around me. Once I would have sneered at the idea of groveling after peoples' acceptance and being such a people pleaser! And don't for one minute assume that it is only one person whom I crave the affection and attention of. Oh no, I am even anxious to receive the approval of my two orphans. The crux of it is that they are not and will never even be mine'. The flower girl still remains connected and somewhat responsible for their wellbeing and livelihood – forgive me for being a paranoid jealous psycho for saying it but she does.

How is it that Marlene can see her, sense her and receive spiritual messages from her? And I can't? Marlene always gets sentimental when she talks about her and speaks her name with everlasting affection. She also tries to look like her, you know with the bow and hair braid and because it makes him happy – and proud that she respects and admires her beloved memory. That's how inspirational my friend was- I mean IS. I wonder if anyone would try to impress _me_ when I'm dead.

And then there's sweet darling Denzel. He loves Cloud so much and wants to be just like him. Only thing is, he has nothing to do with me apparently. Oh no Cloud is so adamant that Aerith brought Denzel to HIM only – like some sort of spiritual love child gesture if you catch my drift. I mean _thanks_ Cloud, you kind of forgot that Denzel contacted me before he collapsed in your church. Also you kind of forgot that I maintained his survival and wellbeing while you up and left for a good effing two years. I mean if he belonged to you and her, I could have been low and just turned him out of my bar, he is your responsibility after all hey?

So yes, over all I am feeling rather used, and worn out. It has come to the point where my groups of friends are just abusing my hospitality and using me for free accommodation and food. Really that's what I'm known for. Oh 'Tifa the great cook, Tifa the great barkeep, Tifa the sweet loving nurse, the counselor, the confidante, the mother.' Except I'm not even allowed to claim the role of mother because they already have the spiritual mother, I am 'like' a mother, I am 'like' sweetheart – translation – I do all the work and acts of service of a mother and a caring partner without receiving any of the actual perks of being either of them. What's it called –

Oh yeah! The third wheel. I am the third wheel of my own house. I am second best and always the second choice. Them three are just settling for me. I realised that a month ago and acted ASAP. It's time to bring back the old Tifa attitude. The one which got me places, the me I was back then when he chased me, not the other way around. Four weeks ago I sold my bar. SURPRISE! No one saw that coming. And oh gods did I receive so much crap for it but you know what it is my bar and my business and to hell with what my friends think. They can follow me to my new point of business if they are genuine friends. When the new tenants take over Seventh Heaven, they will essentially have possession of the building and um, all the property rights of it. But here's the dilemma. All my friends know except Cloud – I don't even want him to know, because if he does he will leave me first in anger. This time, I want to be the one who leaves him. So I resolved not to tell him until the absolute last ticking possible moment, which is…tomorrow evening.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note:** Since this story revolves around Cloud and Tifa, I will write in first person from both their points of view. Other characters' thoughts and observations will be reflected from the third person perspective.

**Chapter Two: Fight and Plight**

**Cloud's POV**

For once I am awake before everybody else, due to a damned headache that began last night. Tifa will be down soon to open the bar and prepare breakfast for Marlene and Denzel. For now it's nice to sit down alone on the bar stool and enjoy the morning's silence – business will be bustling all day and we may not get a chance to sit down let alone socialize until late into the night.

"Morning" Tifa yawns as she walks down the stairs to behind the bar. " How are you this fine morning ?"

" Quite well, apart from this bloody headache" I mutter. I stand up to prepare a coffee, gods know I need caffeine to get through this long day.

"Don't worry I'll make it for you" Tifa swiftly moves to the coffee machine.

"Thanks Tifa you are a gem." I smile and try to catch her eye so she doesn't think I am ungrateful or completely shitty this morning. She gives me a small smile but looks away rather quickly.

"Um excuse me I have to collect the ice" she turns on her heel and scurries past me, eyes downcast. Is this just pre-shift nerves?

The phone goes off, and the shrill tone causes a stab of pain behind my eyes.

" Ah damnit! I'll be down right in a sec!" she yells from upstairs.

"Don't worry I got this one!" …I do want her to think that I am useful in our business.

"Hello Seventh Heaven and Strife Delivery Service how can we help you?"

" Why good jolly morning to you! " It's a smooth and booming voice. " It's Edgar here, and I'm waiting to speak with Tifa. You must be the one and only Cloud? She talks about you quite a bit." A friendly chuckle follows.

"Yes…. Do I know you?" My impatience is starting to rise.

Tifa grabs the receiver from my hands.

"Yes? Oh Hello Edgar!...Tomorrow?...Yes that should be absolutely fine, I'll expect her sometime in the evening and they will show her around…..What?...Don't worry, that's our problem….OK…..Goodbye."

Irritating regulars can be so presumptuous. I yawn deeply again and drink as Denzel enters the bistro.

"Was that the man who is going to take over Seventh Heaven and kick us out?" Denzel asks nonchalantly.

_Wait What?_ I choke on my coffee and spit it out. I look immediately at Tifa, and she looks…busted.

"Tifa what the hell is going on?"

"I thought my question answered it" Denzel replies. "Tifa is leaving Seventh Heaven, duh! Or did you actually manage to forget that she's leaving us forever?"

Wait, I can't be hearing right, maybe his words are being muffled by this headache and I'm just subconsciously hearing the words I've always dreaded.

"Denzel," Tifa almost whispers. " I haven't told Cloud yet."

"Wait a minute!" I feel absolutely played. " Do you mean to tell me that you guys have known this, and that ALL of you know except me?"

Tifa is just silent and Denzel looks timidly at the floor shuffling his feet.

The range of emotions running through me right now are too intense . I feel angry and betrayed but most of all humiliated, humiliated that I'm being shown up as a failure yet again.

I spring up from my chair to meet Tifa face to face. Maybe my body language intimidates her but I am quite overwhelmed at the moment. "Explain" I hiss at her while gripping her shoulders tightly.

She looks shocked and frightened enough.

"You wouldn't understand….you don't want to." She turns her back on me. That hurts.

"Tifa don't turn your back on me!" I all but yell.

She remains immobile in that position but I hear a massive sniffle. She turns around and her face is teary but livid. Oops. I take a step backwards.

"How dare you." She says is a dangerously low voice.

"How dare you tell me off for doing _once_ what you have done to me these last few years!" she starts shrieking. "Does it feel bad Cloud? Does it hurt when my back is turned to you and I completely cut your words off like that? I can't even begin to count the number of times you have ignored me and rejected my wishes to just be in your company! You, you hypocrite!"

Woah, oh shits. My headache doesn't seem like the worst thing happening anymore. Tifa collapses into one of the bistro seats, rests her head into her arms and starts sobbing violently. Alright this has just become a really really bad day. I walk tentatively to her and stroke her shoulder.

"Tifa I'm sorry, trying to be vicious towards you - that was really low of me."

She wipes her nose with the napkin. "Ooh Cloud. You don't have to try" she hiccups. "You've been tearing me apart from the inside for a good many years now, without trying."

I freeze.

"All those times you leave without saying a word for weeks, sometimes even months, and you think that doesn't upset us Cloud? You think you can just waltz in after your long leave and that my smile and welcoming gestures are genuine? Well I have news for you buddy, once my overjoy at having your presence here was real, but then I realised how pathetic and desperate I was being. Here you are running away from me wholeheartedly to _find_ a woman who is not even on this planet, and when you feel a bit rundown and tired you decide to lodge temporarily at your 'pseudo' home with your fake family here. And me, being the sucker I am simper and swoon when you come home through that door, even while knowing that you are seeing me as a last resort."

Any previous retort I could conjure up stuck in my throat. Denzel is observing this fiasco with alarm.

"Tifa I…." Could I really be like that? A wave of self loathing overcomes me. Yes I must be like that. Because I cannot bring myself to adamantly deny what she said. But I do know now, that seeing her cry is tearing me up on the inside, and I cannot help hating myself even more for knowing I am the cause.

"You know what? You don't care for us. And that's all right. But I have to leave now, because I DO care, so much, too much, it hurts," she says weakly. "You don't seem to want me in your life, or in your heart. I am going to respect that and quietly exclude myself from your life, just like you want me to."

I'm about to argue back because I DO have an objection to that but everything pauses when Marlene enters the room. She walks to Tifa.

"I'll go with you." She says firmly. Tifa despite her wretchedness smiles tenderly at the girl and ruffles her hair. " I know where I am wanted, and that's where I will go," she chirps.

She turns to Denzel. "Denzel, come with us, please," she looks at her best friend, her mentor and the boy she considers her brother earnestly.

Denzel looks conflicted but crosses his arms and stares fixedly at Tifa.

"That woman…the one who saved me in the water. She's the one who rescued me, and therefore the one whom I consider loyal to us. She brought me to Cloud when I was dying of Geostigma and because of that, it is my duty to stay with Cloud, for her…for _them_." He said this all rather coldly. "I'm sorry Tifa" he says with narrowed eyes.

"But Denzel, Tifa was with us both that whole time you were sick, she never left us, even Cloud wasn't there when you were near dying! Have you forgotten that the three of us lived well once?" Marlene was starting to sound upset.

"I'm sorry Marlene. I won't go with you. That is all." Denzel snapped.

Just then Barret entered the premises.

"You wouldn't believe how bloody long it takes ter get the bread. I mean it's morning for goodness sake!" he rants oblivious to the drama. Marlene runs to Barret.

"Daddy Daddy, I want to go with Tifa, wherever she goes when she leaves, even though Denzel won't come with us. Can you please let me go with her?"

Barret looks at the 'trio' and comprehends.

"Oh I see what's going on here. The answer is no no and no Marlene."

Marlene looks devastated. "But Daddy why? I don't want our family to split apart when it just got started."

"THAT'S EXACLTY WHY I WILL NOT LET YOU STAY!"

Both Tifa and I jump back in shock. We have never seen Barret this furious before. Well now we know that he can be…terrifying. He turns on us.

" BOTH OF YOU, ARE STUPID IMMATURE DUMBASSES!" YOU HEAR ME? MY MARLENE HAS HAD ENOUGH OF BROKEN FAMILIES AND I WON'T HAVE YOU TWO HURTING HER AGAIN, UNDERSTAND?"

He is fully red in the face and huffing. Everyone is frozen in fear, but eventually he composes himself.

"What I am saying is, that you two need ter get a grip and grow up. Why can't you just grit your teeth and bear it? If you refuse ter make yourselfs happy at least try to get along for the kids. You two bimbos forget that I was THERE with you saving the planet. And in the crappy aftermath, I didn't have any entitlement issues the way you two do. I don't expect any 'reward', you two need get a _clue_."

"Barret I don't expect a reward-" Tifa was mumbling.

"Yes you do, you expect Cloud's affection. And you know what? Despite being the most kindest awesome tender hearted faithful lover that you are, that guy don't owe ya anything. Get that?"

Tifa looked stricken, devastated and heartbroken all at once. I had a sudden overwhelming urge to bash Barret in.

"Barret _shutup-"_

" – and _you_" Barret points at me. "You are no better than her, with your god complex and all. After saving the world you expect to be rewarded with not only yer 'true love' – oh please - but also the ability to bring back from the dead and you are willing to sabotage the happiness and wellbeing of yourself and everyone else around you ter achieve that -"

My head's starting to spin. ? Barret's rambling is almost incoherent.

"-you know I _hate_ ter say this but yer obsession and almost cruel indifference is almost quite similar to HIM"

"SHUTUP!" I roar. I am shaking in rage.

"I may have entitlement issues Barret, but compare me to Sephiroth again and I will cut you down without hesitation." I whisper deadly.

Barret was finally silenced.

"Tifa please," Marlene pleaded. "Please reconsider what you are about to do. It's making us all sad and pyscho."

Marlene's innocent comment almost made me laugh. Tifa sighed and robbed her forehead in exasperation.

"All I want to do is move _house_. Why that is such a problem I do not understand. But, I will consider what you said Marlene. I will think on it for you and Denzel's sake. Only."

She stomps to the front door and wrenches the welcome sign around to "Closed for Today." Then turns around.

"If you will excuse me, I need to chat with the new tenants. I will be gone all day." She slams the glass door behind her; it shatters and the welcome sign drops to the ground.

She curses and hangs the sign on the doorknob instead before sprinting away. The shrill phone rings again and no one bothers to pick it up.

"Cloud!" It's Denzel.

"Sorry what?" I blink. We are experiencing the king of awkward silence.

"Umm do you want another coffee?"

END CHAPTER


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